Are You Willing to Ask for Help?
By Paula Gregorowicz
"Why didn't you ask for some help?"
"Oh, I didn't want to bother anyone..."
I can't tell you how often I hear this from people. In our quest to be independent,
self-sufficient, and successful, we often avoid the very thing we most need to do -
asking for help.
When you find yourself stuck, struggling, overwhelmed, or afraid, what is your first
line of action? Do you ask for help or do you fill your head with stories like:
* I don't want to bother anyone...
* Everyone is really busy, they couldn't possibly have time to help...
* If I ask for help it'll appear that I can't do everything on my own and I'm not willing
to be that vulnerable...
Snap out of it! This isn't about curling up into a co-dependent ball and acting helpless.
You're smart, intelligent, and capable. It is this very reason why you need to be able to
discern when you need to ask for help and then ASK. Speak UP for goodness sakes!
I have been reminded of this recently in some really personal and heart-wrenching
ways. I seem to have an extended family that I love dearly that is really reluctant to
ask for help. I've seen people suffer in physical and emotional pain because they
didn't want to bother anyone. I even attended a funeral of a loved one who might very
well be here today if she would have skipped the "I don't want to bother anyone" and
reached out.
Whether your need is physical, emotional, or practical, the people who know and care
about you want to help. That's right, unless you are the kid crying wolf demanding
help at every step, the people who care about you really do want to be there for you.
Here's the catch, they can't be there for you if you don't ask. Most people are not mind
readers.
I admit that I come from the same gene pool of folks who don't want to ask for help,
but I've learned that as independent and strong as I am, I can't do it all alone. I will
totally own the fact that I can still be resistant to accepting help at times (you ought to
see me when I have the flu!), but I have learned how to be more open and willing to
ask for help when I really need it.
It doesn't have to be a monumental request; sometimes it is simple but incredibly
meaningful. People succeed and live meaningful lives because of the connection and
support of others. Holds true in all areas of life. Period. End of Story.
My coach request to you is...
1) Just notice if there is anything you have been struggling with that you could really
use help with. It may be a practical piece of your business (like updating your
website) or as simple as just needing to connect with another human so you feel like
you are not alone in whatever situation you find yourself in.
2) List on a piece of paper at least one thing (big or small) that you could really use
help with in the next week.
3) Think of family, friends, colleagues, or trusted contacts who could help.
4) ASK them to help.
It's not rocket science, but it sure feels that big because of all the stories we tell
ourselves about what it means if we need help (things like "I'm not good enough", "I'll
never make it on my own", "What will others think?", "Only the weak need help", etc.).
Then the flood of emotions rushes in and we get paralyzed in place.
The more we stay stuck the more overwhelmed, panicked, stressed, fearful, angry, and
tense we get. Then we repeat the cycle a few more times until we're on the brink.
Stop the self-sabotage and super-person act, take a deep breath, and then give
yourself permission to do the exercise and ask for help.
Here's the thing, not only will you get the thing you need most, but I am willing to bet
that in the giving others will benefit as well. I know whenever I get to help someone
out I really cherish the opportunity and receive what I most need as well.
About the author: Paula Gregorowicz coaches women to get more comfortable in their own skin
so they are able to fully value themselves and what they offer and as a result experience greater
levels of success and meaning in their life and business. They gain more clarity, confidence, and
courage to succeed on their own terms and live life by their own design. Get the Free eCourse
and learn the "5 Steps to Turn Fear into Freedom" at The Paula G Company.
By Paula Gregorowicz
"Why didn't you ask for some help?"
"Oh, I didn't want to bother anyone..."
I can't tell you how often I hear this from people. In our quest to be independent,
self-sufficient, and successful, we often avoid the very thing we most need to do -
asking for help.
When you find yourself stuck, struggling, overwhelmed, or afraid, what is your first
line of action? Do you ask for help or do you fill your head with stories like:
* I don't want to bother anyone...
* Everyone is really busy, they couldn't possibly have time to help...
* If I ask for help it'll appear that I can't do everything on my own and I'm not willing
to be that vulnerable...
Snap out of it! This isn't about curling up into a co-dependent ball and acting helpless.
You're smart, intelligent, and capable. It is this very reason why you need to be able to
discern when you need to ask for help and then ASK. Speak UP for goodness sakes!
I have been reminded of this recently in some really personal and heart-wrenching
ways. I seem to have an extended family that I love dearly that is really reluctant to
ask for help. I've seen people suffer in physical and emotional pain because they
didn't want to bother anyone. I even attended a funeral of a loved one who might very
well be here today if she would have skipped the "I don't want to bother anyone" and
reached out.
Whether your need is physical, emotional, or practical, the people who know and care
about you want to help. That's right, unless you are the kid crying wolf demanding
help at every step, the people who care about you really do want to be there for you.
Here's the catch, they can't be there for you if you don't ask. Most people are not mind
readers.
I admit that I come from the same gene pool of folks who don't want to ask for help,
but I've learned that as independent and strong as I am, I can't do it all alone. I will
totally own the fact that I can still be resistant to accepting help at times (you ought to
see me when I have the flu!), but I have learned how to be more open and willing to
ask for help when I really need it.
It doesn't have to be a monumental request; sometimes it is simple but incredibly
meaningful. People succeed and live meaningful lives because of the connection and
support of others. Holds true in all areas of life. Period. End of Story.
My coach request to you is...
1) Just notice if there is anything you have been struggling with that you could really
use help with. It may be a practical piece of your business (like updating your
website) or as simple as just needing to connect with another human so you feel like
you are not alone in whatever situation you find yourself in.
2) List on a piece of paper at least one thing (big or small) that you could really use
help with in the next week.
3) Think of family, friends, colleagues, or trusted contacts who could help.
4) ASK them to help.
It's not rocket science, but it sure feels that big because of all the stories we tell
ourselves about what it means if we need help (things like "I'm not good enough", "I'll
never make it on my own", "What will others think?", "Only the weak need help", etc.).
Then the flood of emotions rushes in and we get paralyzed in place.
The more we stay stuck the more overwhelmed, panicked, stressed, fearful, angry, and
tense we get. Then we repeat the cycle a few more times until we're on the brink.
Stop the self-sabotage and super-person act, take a deep breath, and then give
yourself permission to do the exercise and ask for help.
Here's the thing, not only will you get the thing you need most, but I am willing to bet
that in the giving others will benefit as well. I know whenever I get to help someone
out I really cherish the opportunity and receive what I most need as well.
About the author: Paula Gregorowicz coaches women to get more comfortable in their own skin
so they are able to fully value themselves and what they offer and as a result experience greater
levels of success and meaning in their life and business. They gain more clarity, confidence, and
courage to succeed on their own terms and live life by their own design. Get the Free eCourse
and learn the "5 Steps to Turn Fear into Freedom" at The Paula G Company.
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